I’ll start by saying that two months into my quest to try online dating and I’m sufficiently exhausted. It’s like a part-time job when you’re in a position of actively searching for dates online. I’ll preface this by saying that I haven’t met anyone I think I’ll spend the rest of my life with so that definitely affects my opinion, but I thought I’d share some pros and cons of online dating. For the record, I joined match.com.
- You know that everyone you talk to is single, local, and looking to date. There are no weird guessing games about whether or not it is a date. You kind of skip the first part of meeting someone and figuring out what their situation is.
- You are literally shopping for people. It sounds so weird and that was the weirdest thing to me when I was starting to make my profile. You can adjust your searches to select dudes that you are interested in based on physical traits or based on things like income, job category, etc. If you’re someone who knows what they want you’d love it.
- It’s apparently “what everyone is doing.” I’ve confessed my skepticism about online dating before to a lot of people but the most common thing people say is that “it’s what everyone is doing now.” It certainly has become the norm and for most people it’s convenient to date from the comfort of their smartphone.
- You learn a lot about myself. I learned a TON about other people, but more about myself. I have learned about the qualities and values that I respect and value in a person. I learned what characteristics in a guy I find attractive and role I see someone adding to my life.
- Not going to lie, there are some weirdos out there. I’m sure 95% of people who are online dating are kind, maybe shy, and generally respectful people, but I felt like I was wading through a few too many 42 year olds sending me messages at midnight. I think you have to really think about internet safety when you make your profile… not in a scary grade 5 internet safety talk kind of way… but just be aware of how much information you are putting and the locations of photos (like if you take a photo at work, etc.).
- You have no idea, no matter how many messages you’ve exchanged, how much chemistry you will have with someone. People can be really witty and great conversationalist online but are super awkward and can’t carry a conversation in real life. I felt like I was always jumping into step two of a relationship before even establishing if there was chemistry or spark.
- It does take a lot of time if you are actively searching. I think I jumped into online dating too soon after I started my job and moved into an apartment downtown because I didn’t really give myself a chance to establish myself in my new life and meet the people I was now surrounded by. I have been struggling to juggle keeping new friendships alive, first dates, and catching up with old friends and my family. Plus any time I’d mention a date to my mom she relentlessly investigated. 😉
- It justifies people not making real life connections. I talked about this with Jo on our hike on the weekend and I said that I understand this is the norm now when it comes to dating but that completely justifies people walking around with their noses in their phones and not talking to people in real life. I love meeting new people and establishing friendships in person, not with my phone, so I feel like the entire culture of online dating has created a generation that lacks a lot of basic social skills.
If you’re currently online dating, I hope it’s going well for you! I know a couple people (actual real life people, not like my cousin’s friend’s hairdresser’s son) who have met their partners online and it’s not a terrible thing. I haven’t felt very comfortable with the entire process, jumping into someone you’re compatible with on paper but might not even be able to have a coffee date with in real life… so I think I’m going to take a break for a bit!
Tell me your stories! Have you gone on crazy dates with someone you met online?
Have you tried online dating, what’s your biggest pro and con?
Those in a relationship -> how did you meet your partner?